Friday, January 24, 2014

To ESL Learners Everywhere: Why does Gate have to be synonymous with Scandal

I admit it, I have been fully relishing in the day by day revelations of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's alleged bullying rampage.  Only Illinois seems to be more corrupt, and we won't get into a Chicago / New Orleans showdown.  But what I can't tolerate is the moniker most of the press have haplessly attached to a scandal about a bridge:  BridgeGate.  It makes my skin crawl just to type the word.  Must we be condemned to add the suffix -Gate to every scandal that crosses our collective radar?  By now, most people interested in the news have no idea what or why this is.  I can just imagine dictionaries today, adding this suffix to the list of possible word endings.  I can see foreigners the world over scratching their heads, "Those are toll lanes, not gates!" or "Monica-Gate? How many people was she bonking?"
While in an Italian language forum one woman cast her plea out into the world..."Can someone please tell me what is Watergate?!"  A few years ago, the online press, Il Post took it on themselves to explain, in no uncertain terms, the bizarre practice with the Italian press, posting this headline:  Why all scandals are called Gate.
But what is an even more audacious commentary on American marketing prowess, is the fact that even Italian scandals sport the Gate ending, which always makes me wonder if they pronouce it, Gah-teh; which confuses them more than ever.  Rubygate / Batman-Gate / Sexy-Gate (the scandal covered in "Vesuvian sauce") -- they even relished in New York City Mayor's eating his pizza in true Italian style, with a fork = Fork-gate.  
I need to take a break because I am writhing in pain.
But, it didn't start with the Italians.  If I am to trust my web sources (hah!), it is the fearful English-hegemony French that started it all in the first place.  In 1978, a scandal broke which was quickly dubbed, Winegate.  From there, it was a slippery slope straight down to the bottom.  Today, we are treated to Hollande-Gate or Gayet-Gate.  Help me.  Please.  Someone.  Anyone.  Although I must say, European "Gate" scandals tend to be more associated with sex scandals than with corruption.  Maybe because they're more used to brushing off the bribes?
When will another scandal be so great as to stop the gate verbage cold?  Enron - Madoff - Parmalat. Parmalat was the largest financial scandal in history.  Berlusconi's Ruby Heartstealer could be called Rubyalat (which just happens to rhyme with "a lot") or  Hollande's First-Lady problems would be Premier Dame-alat?  Anything but Gate.  

For those of you who don't know what, in reality, Watergate even stands for, it was the name of the hotel complex situated on the Potomac where President Nixon's guys broke into the Democratic National Committee Headquarters.  

Recently, the President of Rome's regional government found a bug in his office underneath a chair, which garnered almost no mention in the press.  Most of Berlusconi's convictions rest upon wire-tapping of his inner circle and his adversaries alike. People don't think twice anymore.  It's no wonder that Gate may be here to stay.  Aiuto.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Italian: A phonetic language, after all

And it kills me to think of how difficult learning English must be for poor Italians, with our bear, bare's or our threw, through, thru and so on.  And if I lived in France, I for one would be on that committee to make French phonetic.  I mean, who needs all those unpronounced consonants, really?  
But this sighting at Rome's newly vamped, multi-million euro train station & bus terminal just took the piss right out of me...I mean, you have to hand it to the Italians, who do offer for all the rest of us, much signage in multi-languages.  The USA or UK could only be so accommodating.  But, prior to Google Translate, we'd all get a big kick out of the Italianish. Post Google Translate it's even all the more risible.  But this picture, showing the way to the Metro - otherwise known as a Subway in the USA, and the Underground in London well...
Picture & full article from Il Messaggero Roman newspaper
And just to confuse you English speakers, when you do, indeed, go to London and see signs for a subway, well, that'll just take you down underneath the busy streets and up to the other side of the road - a subway in fact (or a semi-private toilet, depending on how you look at it).

Check out my latest post on Burnt by the Tuscan Sun! 
Helicopter Parents meets HR.
http://burntbythetuscansun.blogspot.it/2014/01/finding-job-in-italy-what-not-to-do.html

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Name Games of Italy

A bambino by any other name...will still poop its pants. 
That Italy is a male-chauvinist society is fairly common knowledge. I often bring into the blog the latest in keeping women feet on the pedals of their SUVs and on their cellphones to mamma [after all, going barefoot even in summer is barbaric, and pregnant? No one can afford kids anymore].  But in the name game, as one commentator told the press, Italy isn't in the 20th century, they're in the 1800s.  Well, as of today, all that changed.  Thanks to a dynamic couple from Milan, who refused to take "No" for an answer when told that their child could not bear the mother's last name. [For purposes of this post, I'll ignore the obvious - that even women's last names eventually lead back to a patriarch somewhere].
An Italian friend who had four kids 40 years ago with the woman who would become his life partner, was told that because they were unmarried, he would have to list on the birth certificate, 'Padre Sconosciuto' - Father Unknown.  Fast forward to our Milanese couple in 2012, and they were told that their offspring, if the were to sport the mom's name, would have to be listed the same way.  Outraged, and with the rest of the world on their side, they took their case to the European Union - and won.
Not so long ago, Italians decided that women could, indeed, change their own names.  But the laws drew the line on the kids.  I always liked the fact that women kept their own last names in Italy - but I've seen plenty of times, when the father is not part of their lives, how strange it is for the kids and their mom to have different identities altogether.  Gladly, that's not the norm.
So, Italy, one hyphen at a time, is allowing for names to be joined, for women to take their partner's last names, for children to take hers.  The last bastion is, in naming them strangely like Wednesday Addams, or Apple and such.  In one instant, and I believe it was a person who wanted to call their kid Adolf Hitler, or something like that, the judges intervened and refused to allow the name to go through. 
Moreover, middle names still cause problems.  I was actually not admitted to hospital once because I had filled out all the forms in the spaces provided: LAST NAME / FIRST NAME. Not thinking of my (largely unused) middle name.  When they took one look at my i.d. card, they said I'd have to start all over from scratch, months away, in order to get admitted properly.  I took the papers out of their hands and swiftly added my middle name to them...offering politely, that I had no idea what they were on about.
What would the Italians have done if they had gone the route of the Spaniards, and offered up a half dozen last names for every child birth?  Most of whom hail from the matriarchal side of the family?  I shudder to think of the bureaucracy that would ensue.

A few more fun posts on the Name Games of Italy:
Italian Name Origins
How (not) to correct your dual last names 
Fun Italian names

Monday, January 6, 2014

Day of Epiphany

Today is the celebration of the Epiphany. Or rather, it’s the day the old kitchen witch brings gifts for good kids or fills stockings with coal for the naughty ones. And traditionally, this has been the Big Day for little kids, up until not very long ago when Good St. Nick finally overtook her market share. After all, who could make it against a rosy-cheeked guy with reindeer and elves? Even though I thought La Befana might make a comeback post-Harry Potter, with her broomstick and all.But, I think La Befana’s image issue is actually representative of a deep-seated marketing problem which besets all of Italy.  Sure, everyone associates Italy with beautiful things, fast cars, and Pavarotti’s voice, but luxury goods aside, the Italians still haven’t quite caught the hang of brand imaging for everything else. Think about it: Jolly ol' St. Nick? Although originally hailing from Myrna (by some sources), he became Italian and gained sainthood there after all.  And yet, the guy’s gift-giving habit will forever more be associated with Laplanders and the North Pole. All because of shrewd branding by the guys who gave us Nokia [although it was Antonio Meucci or even Innocenzo Manzetti who actually invented the telephone].  Heck, even Google owes its engine to an Italian inventor.

Take our long-nosed Befana, for example: 

A scary old gift-bearing witch is the figure they chose to symbolize the arrival of the Three Wise Men…and to announce that God had come forth in the body of Jesus? My friend’s son here for a visit couldn’t sleep all night – not from anticipation, but from abject fear. Those wily Olde Englishmen - the forefathers of our mass-advertising execs -- already defying the Church with their divorce decrees, caught on to this story, and rebranded her for Halloween. And now trick or treating has taken Europe by a storm. 

[And dare I mention what happened to her when she reached America? Having already turned Halloween into practically a 2-month event including movies, Harry Potter book launches, yard decorations fit for MGM, haunted houses and so many costumes there actually exists a Dept of Halloween in China, it then took the witch, put her in the kitchen so she could stay (and they could sell her) year round.]

And those poor Sicilians steeped in tradition? They didn’t even get the scary witch and her treats to look forward to. Those kids only get 'I Morti', that night between Nov 1st and 2nd when they would be visited by dead relatives in the night. In the morning (if they hadn’t died of fright from boogeymen), they’d find scattered about the balconies or windowsills chestnuts, almonds, nuts, and dried up figs. It’s no wonder the practice never quite took off in the rest of the world despite centuries of migration to and occupation from dozens of other countries. 
Branding, my dear Watsonini. Branding.